It All Began With a Mission Report
by Drop of the Sweetest Poison
Summary: Kakashi/Iruka. One-shot! Kakashi would do anything to get out of his mission report. It would work, of course, if he could do anything right. Now he's stuck trying to earn the trust of the brown-haired school teacher for his mistakes. Yaoi.


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**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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_Title_: It All Began With a Mission Report

_Summary_: Kakashi/Iruka. One-shot! Kakashi would do anything to get out of his mission report. It would work, of course, if he could do anything right. Now he's stuck trying to earn the trust of the brown-haired school teacher for his mistakes. Yaoi.

* * *

"Yo."

Iruka snapped out of his reverie and squinted up at the silver-haired jounin from between his fingers. "Good..." He glanced at the clock, "...evening, Master Kakashi. Do you have your report to turn in?"

Kakashi rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. "Well, you see, Master Iruka..."

Iruka inwardly groaned, preparing himself for another one of the Copy-Ninja's famous excuses.

"...while strolling through the... bathroom... this afternoon, I accidentally dropped my report, and it fluttered under one of the stall doors. As I bent over to pick it up, it was snatched from my grasp. It appears that Naruto's stall was out of toilet paper, so he used my mission report instead..." Kakashi finished lamely.

Iruka's eye twitched. "That... that's a very inexcusable reason, Master Kakashi. First of all, you should not be 'strolling through the bathroom' with a very important document out in the open. Second, I doubt that the paper would just happen to 'flutter' under Naruto's particular stall. Third, Naruto was with me in my classroom all afternoon eating lunch."

Kakashi laughed. "Oh, that's right. It must have been Sasuke's stall."

"Sasuke was training right outside the Academy."

"Lee?"

"Lee was running six hundred laps around Konoha with Master Gai."

Kakashi grimaced. "Sakura...?"

"Master Kakashi, I know you weren't just implying that you were in the girls' bathroom, were you? I'll choose to ignore that for now. Anyways, Sakura, as you of all people should know, was busy ogling Sasuke." Iruka sighed, slapping a hand over his eyes. "Would you mind giving me the real reason why you have slacked off in handing in your mission report—the mission report, I might add, that should have been turned in this morning after the D-rank mission you and your team completed?"

Avoiding the question, Kakashi commented warmly, "You really keep tabs on where the genin are, don't you, Master Iruka? Such a responsible chuunin you are."

Iruka gave him a deadpanned look. "As a teacher, I can honestly say it's my job to look after children. And of course I would be 'keeping tabs on the genin,' as you put. They were wonderful students of mine. After their graduation, I don't simply intend to forget about them."

"Of course not. I was not insinuating—"

"Enough, Master Kakashi. Now, either you sit here and come up with a mission report, or go somewhere else and do it. I expect it to be done before eight o'clock today. I have papers to grade."

Kakashi wordlessly pulled a chair over to the desk and sat. He held out his hand expectantly.

Satisfied, Iruka placed a blank scroll and pen in his hand. A smile crossed his lips. "Good choice. I hate having to incessantly annoy you with this, but the report must be turned in."

The jounin shrugged and began writing on the paper.

Iruka continued grading a stack of papers.

* * *

_Three hours later_...

Iruka, incredulous, stared at the sloppy mission report that was thrust into his view. "This..."

"I think you will be very impressed." Kakashi's eye curved with his smile. He observed Iruka's facial expressions from over the top of the scroll. "Ah... something wrong, Master Iruka?"

Iruka, face red with anger, ripped the report into small pieces right in front of the distraught jounin. "That was the single most sloppiest, irrelevant, _perverted_ piece of filth I have ever set my eyes on!"

Kakashi stared. "Perverted? Why, Master Iruka, I don't—"

"You do _not _doodle on mission reports! I don't want to see any of your _Icha Icha Paradise_ sketches! And what were you rambling about half-way through this? Were you... _quoting_ the book?"

"Oh, _that_..."

"And what was all that crap about what you ate for breakfast this morning? And I don't _care_ that your hamster died twelve years ago! And I most definitely don't require your address!"

"Ah... I can explain..."

Iruka held up his hand, calling for silence. "I don't want to hear it." He set his glare on Kakashi. "Naruto could write better mission reports."

"Most likely," Kakashi admitted with a shrug. A lecherous grin spread over his face. "But can Naruto quote the best intercourse scene of _Icha Icha Paradise_ volume two word for word?"

"_OUT_!"

At the chuunin's scream, Kakashi's smile dropped, and he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

* * *

"Master Iruka!"

Iruka glanced up from his bulging pile of papers just in time to see Naruto swoop in and tackle him to the ground. His papers were scattered everywhere. "Ah... hello, Naruto!"

"What are you doing at the Ichiraku all by yourself? And why didn't you invite me?"

"I'm sorry. It must have slipped my mind when I realized just how much grading I had to do today."

Naruto frowned. "That's too bad, Master Iruka. How can you grade papers and enjoy ramen at the same time? To me, grading would spoil the precious noodles! I would lose my appetite! Believe it!"

A female gasp was heard.

"Naruto! How could you? You made Master Iruka's papers go everywhere!" Sakura scolded, entering the noodle shop.

"Loser. You didn't have to tackle him. A simple 'Hey' would have worked." Sasuke scoffed.

"I didn't mean to! I was just surprised that he was here!" Naruto defended. "I was just so happy to see him! Do you really think I'd take the time to avoid a stack of papers when I'm trying to hug Master Iruka?"

"It's alright." Iruka laughed, standing. He bent over to retrieve his papers. "Don't blame Naruto. He was just being affectionate." He was surprised when someone knelt beside him and took the papers from his hands. He glanced up.

Kakashi smiled down at Iruka. "Yo."

"Master Kakashi," Iruka greeted with a small nod. "How are you?"

"Fine. How are you?"

"I'm tired." Iruka sighed. "I have so much grading to do. Maybe I should cut down on the paper assignments I give."

"How about you let me grade these tonight?" Kakashi suggested.

"You...?" Iruka blinked. His mouth opened and closed, and he shook his head. He was appalled at the very suggestion. "Oh, no, Master Kakashi, I couldn't pile all of this—"

"It's no trouble at all, Master Iruka. You look like you haven't had a decent sleep in a while."

Iruka hesitated. It was true. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt..."

"Not at all. You can trust me." Kakashi smiled warmly.

"Okay," Iruka finally agreed, "I really appreciate this." It felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Naruto stuck out his tongue. "That's too nice of Master Kakashi! He's never nice!"

"To you," Kakashi corrected with a sly wink. "I can't be nice to you little monsters, or you'll never learn."

Naruto growled, crossing his arms with a huff. "Whatever! Let's have our ramen now!"

Kakashi tucked the papers under his arm and held up a finger. "Just a moment. I need to take these back to my apartment." With a puff of smoke, he disappeared. Not more than five seconds, he returned.

Iruka sat on his stool and ate his cooled noodles.

Kakashi seated himself on the stool next to him. "So... Master Iruka..."

Iruka tilted his head towards Kakashi, his mouth full of noodles. "Mm-hm?"

"Do you work out?" Kakashi complimented with a lazy smile.

Iruka stared at him. "Whu?"

"You must eat healthy foods, right?"

"..."

"You have a wonderful sense of dress. Where do you get it?"

"Master Kakashi."

"Your hair looks very shiny today. New conditioner?"

"Master Kakashi—"

"I bet it smells nice, too. Am I right?"

"Master Kakashi—!"

"Did you get a tan? It looks great!"

"_MASTER KAKASHI_!"

Kakashi broke off with a jump. "Yes?"

"Don't think that all these compliments will get you off the hook because you still owe me a mission report. And don't think I don't know what you're trying to do! My students use flattery all the time!"

Naruto and Sakura snickered into their ramen.

Sasuke arched an eyebrow. "You haven't finished that report yet?"

"Er... well, I did..."

Sasuke snorted. "Right." Muttering to himself, Sasuke added, "They'd pick a monkey to be a jounin if they wanted to, I swear..."

Iruka gave Kakashi another sour look before turning to his ramen again.

Kakashi frowned before tapping the chuunin on his shoulder.

"What?"

"Do you work out?"

* * *

Nursing a bruised jaw, Kakashi sat on his couch with a pile of papers on his lap. "Okay, let's see how these pre-genin do."

The first paper he scanned was entitled, "My Summer Vacation."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. And Iruka called his report irrelevant! What did summer vacation have to do with becoming a shinobi? Shaking his head in agitation, Kakashi read the essay. "'My summer vacation was very good. I ate rice and soup. My grandma visited me for no reason, and I liked it. Master Iruka is the bestest. The end.'"

Kakashi's eye twitched. 'Is this _really_ considered an essay? I thought it was about five paragraphs! That wasn't even one paragraph!'

He snatched up a red pen and hovered it over the paper with a particularly vicious look in his eye. Within a few seconds, the paper had been completely covered with dripping-red-ink-comments.

"Okay! Next!" He smiled happily at his work before setting it aside. Picking up the next, his smile turned deadly. "'Ten Reasons Why I Like Master Iruka,' eh?" He snickered to himself. "'Number one: Master Iruka has pretty hair; number two: Master Iruka gives us easy assignments; number three: Master Iruka smiles at me a lot; number four: Master Iruka yells at dumb Konohamaru when he pulls my hair'..."

Kakashi paused, lips twitching in disgust. "I could do so much better!" Blinking, he peered down owlishly at the paper. Wordlessly, he wrote over the student's neat letters with his own sloppy, disfigured ones. "'Number... one: ...Master Iruka... is... hot; number... two: ...Master Iruka... has... a nice—'"

He froze. 'Did I... really just write that?' A blush crept up his cheeks, and he pushed the assignment aside, tugging another one out of the pile. "'My Favorite Quotes.'"

A grin curled his lips. "Now this I can work with!" He scribbled over all the quotes and wrote below it, 'My Favorite Pick-Up Lines.' "'One: are you made of cooked ramen? 'Cause you're hot! Two: do you know any seducing jutsu? 'Cause I want you!" He let out a strangely high-pitched giggle before slapping his hand over his mouth, eyes darting around.

* * *

_The next day_...

Iruka strolled into the classroom and spotted a stack of papers on his desk. 'Oh, good. Master Kakashi didn't forget.' Without glancing at them, he began writing on the blackboard as students filtered in.

Once finished, he turned to the pre-genin. "Class, listen up! I have finally graded all your papers! Konohamaru, Moegi, please pass them out." He divided the stack in half and handed them to the two children.

It didn't take long for the students to react to their papers.

"Hey! Pick-up lines! I can use these to get some chicks! Yeah!"

"What... what is this? 'His hand trailed down her—'"

"Hey, my mommy reads that kind of stuff!"

Sobbing broke out.

"Master Iruka said I have the worst hand-writing he's ever seen!"

"Master Iruka said it looks like I threw this essay up!"

"Master Iruka said that if I don't write better, he's going to hang me by my hair from a tree all day! And I don't even _have _hair!"

"Master Iruka wrote over mine! I didn't read _Icha Icha Paradise_ and peek in the girls' bathhouses over the summer!"

"You think _that's _bad? Master Iruka made me say he's hot and has a nice—"

Iruka spun around at the outbursts. "What is the meaning of this? Why are all of you... _crying_?"

A particularly small child in the front row sniffled, tears rolling down her cheeks. She blinked up at Iruka and pouted. "Master Iruka is... a meanie!"

"What did I do?" Iruka frowned.

"Master Iruka writes mean stuff on our papers!"

A horrible feeling overcame Iruka. He snatched up the nearest paper and stared. His jaw dropped at the comments. "'If you don't give me your lunch money to buy a new _Icha Icha Paradise_... I'll stuff kittens into a _plastic bag_...?'"

The student he took the paper from was sobbing uncontrollably.

The paper in Iruka's grasp was slowly crumpled.

"_MASTER KAKASHI, YOU'RE DEAD_!"

* * *

"Master Kakashi, there's a fuming Master Iruka here to see you," Sasuke commented with barely restrained amusement.

Kakashi glanced up from his book with little interest. "Oh? What ever for?"

Iruka stormed into the training ground and stopped under Kakashi's tree. He raised his burning glower to Kakashi and gritted his teeth together. "Master Kakashi, get down here. _Now_."

Naruto paused in his stretching to stare.

Sakura giggled to herself and pointed at Kakashi.

Sasuke crossed his arms and smirked slightly.

Kakashi rubbed at the back of his neck before disappearing in a puff of smoke, reappearing in front of Iruka. His book dangled in his grasp weakly. "Did I... do something wrong?"

A vein twitched in Iruka's temple. Then, he exploded, "_Something wrong_? _SOMETHING WRONG_? MASTER KAKASHI, HOW _DARE_ YOU WRITE ALL OF THAT ON CHILDREN'S PAPERS!"

"What?" Kakashi blinked. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb!" Iruka bit his lip to contain his screams. "You know what you did! You graded my papers last night!"

"...Oh. _That_."

Iruka's eyebrows twitched.

"You know, Master Iruka," Kakashi began hesitantly, "if you frown like that all the time, it'll stay permanently..."

"I don't _care_! I want you to explain yourself!"

"You should care," Kakashi leered. "You don't want to destroy your pretty face with an expression like that, do you?"

Iruka froze, staring. "'Pretty'...?"

Naruto burst out laughing. "Master Kakashi called Master Iruka 'pretty'! 'Pretty' is a word to describe girls! Hah!"

Iruka shook his head angrily. "You're just trying to change the subject! Now explain yourself! I have a classroom full of perverts and sobbing children now, and it's all your fault!"

"Whoa," Naruto blinked. "What did you do, Master Kakashi?"

Kakashi rubbed his neck again. "Maybe I went a _little_ overboard on my grading."

"That doesn't even begin to describe it! What you did is... is..." Iruka broke off, covering his eyes in shame. "I can't believe you'd do something like that to my students! I trusted you!"

Kakashi frowned at the expression on Iruka's face. "I didn't think it would be that—"

"Thanks to you," Iruka interrupted with a snarl, eyes flashing, "I have to explain to my students that I won't stuff kittens into plastic bags, assassinate the Hokage, or burn the village down if they don't improve!"

Kakashi grimaced as Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke's jaws dropped open. He averted his eyes when they turned their shocked gazes to him. "Okay, I screwed up. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Nothing! Just..." Iruka spun on his heel, "don't talk to me for a long time. Maybe I'll forgive you _eventually_." With that, Iruka stalked away leaving three shocked genin and a depressed jounin in his wake.

"Master Kakashi..." Naruto trailed off, blinking at his teacher. "I didn't know you could be so mean."

"Yeah, you're mean to us sometimes, but that's just for our training. Master Iruka didn't do anything to you, and you totally took advantage of his trust to ruin his work," Sakura glared. "It's as if I don't even know you anymore, Master!"

Sasuke glared at Kakashi and shook his head.

"C'mon guys," Naruto furrowed his brow, gesturing for his teammates to follow. "Let's leave him to think about what he's done to poor Master Iruka."

Kakashi watched his team leave with a hollow ache inside. He turned back to where Iruka disappeared. 'I have to make it up to him somehow. I can't have the most likable person in the village hating me.'

* * *

"Now, now, children, don't cry. I promise that I didn't write any of those horrible things on your papers," Iruka promised desperately. "It was all written by a man who cares not for what children are exposed for. He only cares to make himself feel better."

A boy wiped his tears away and pouted. "Master, who wrote it?"

Iruka's lips pursed. "I don't think it would be right for me to name him after I had said that."

A hand raised. "You really didn't write that?"

"Absolutely not! I am here to be your friend and teacher! I would never say things to make you cry!"

A girl burst out crying and leaped out of her seat, tackling Iruka with a hug. "Master Iruka!"

Iruka knelt to her level and hugged back, smiling sadly. "It's alright. Don't cry."

Other students tackled him with hugs, crying.

"How about we go down to the training grounds for a free day? I want you to become more familiar with the areas you will be spending most of your time when you graduate from here and your training as genin in the near future," Iruka suggested happily.

Cheers filled the room, and students scrambled out of their seats, hurrying out the door.

Iruka stood and began following his students. However, the door slammed shut, blocking his exit.

"Master Iruka."

Iruka froze at the voice and spun around to see Kakashi lounging on his windowsill. "Master Kakashi," he spat, "what are you doing here? I told you I didn't want to see you for a long time."

"Just give me some way to make it up to you." Kakashi held up his hands in defense, climbing into the room. "I really don't want you to hate me."

Iruka crossed his arms and tapped his foot on the ground impatiently. "You have a minute."

Kakashi gaped, waving his hands around frantically. "What? That's not fair!"

"Fifty seconds."

"Give me more time—!"

"Forty-five seconds."

"Wait, wait! I can't come up with—!"

"Thirty-five seconds."

"Agh! Wait, I said! I can't—!"

"Thirty seconds."

"Master Iruka, quit being so—!"

"Twenty-five seconds."

"You're being immature—!"

"Twenty seconds."

"Stop that!"

"Fifteen seconds."

"No! Agh!"

"Ten seconds."

"Ten seconds? Oh, come on—!"

"Five seconds."

In Kakashi's desperation, he had stalked forward until he was nose-to-nose with Iruka. He then did the only thing he could think of to shut the chuunin up—rip his mask down and kiss him senseless.

Iruka's eyes flew open as the jounin's lips descended on his, effectively silencing him. He shouted muffled protests, pushing roughly at Kakashi in vain.

Kakashi wrapped his arms around Iruka's waist and squeezed his eyes closed, kissing passionately.

Iruka flailed his arms and—without thinking—bit down on Kakashi's wandering tongue.

The Copy-Ninja reared backwards, slapping his hands over his lower face, eyes shut in his pain. Blood seeped through his fingers and stained the mask around his neck.

Iruka gasped at the sight of the red fluid. "I'm sorry, Master Kakashi! I'm terribly sorry!"

Kakashi cracked his right eye open and his eyebrow furrowed. "Master Iruka... I hope you have a good reason for biting me like that." He winced at the pain caused by speaking.

"'Good reason'? I have a very good reason! You... you... _molested_ me!"

"'Molested' is a strong word." Kakashi frowned behind his hand. "It was just a simple kiss."

"It may be a simple kiss to you, but..." Iruka blushed bright red and mumbled to himself.

"But what?"

Iruka mumbled again.

"Please speak up. I can't hear a word you're saying."

"That was my first kiss, I said!"

Kakashi arched an eyebrow. "That's it?"

Iruka flushed angrily. "It's very important!"

"Maybe to a teen-aged girl." Kakashi snickered.

"Shut up! Just because I don't go around kissing whomever I want...!"

"That's low," Kakashi muttered. "I don't kiss whomever I want. In fact, I barely kiss at all."

Iruka turned away and covered his mouth sadly.

Kakashi sighed and took his hand away from his lower face for a moment to assess the damage by the amount of blood. It didn't look as bad as it felt. He yanked his mask up from around his neck to cover the bloodied lips and chin. 'Looks like I messed up again.'

Iruka glanced at Kakashi from over his shoulder and frowned at the dark spot forming on the mask. "Master Kakashi, I think you should clean that up. It looks terribly messy."

Kakashi shrugged and started towards the window. "I'll do it later. I'm sorry, Master Iruka. It seems as if I have angered you even more." He leaped on the sill and prepared to exit.

Iruka raced forward without warning and placed his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "Wait! I'm not... I'm not _that_ mad," Iruka admitted sheepishly. "It does seem kind of silly now that I think about it."

Kakashi arched an eyebrow questioningly.

"And... I don't want you to leave..." Iruka blushed. "I–I want that blood to be cleaned up now. I have a medical kit in my desk..."

Kakashi's eye curled with his smile. Inwardly, he cheered himself on. "Sounds good." He stepped down from the window and waited for Iruka to retrieve the kit.

"Over here," Iruka gestured for the jounin to sit on his desk.

Kakashi perched on the edge of Iruka's desk and was delighted to find that he towered over the chuunin from that position.

Iruka blushed and struggled to reach up with a wet cloth. However, Kakashi's legs were in the way. "Um... Master K–Kakashi? Can you...?"

Kakashi grinned to himself and inquired innocently, "What?"

"C–can you..." Iruka bit his lip and averted his eyes, "s–spread your legs?"

Kakashi curled his eye and did as the brown-haired man asked.

Iruka stepped forward and hesitantly tugged down Kakashi's mask. He instantly forgot his embarrassing position at the smeared blood. "This looks bad..."

The jounin said nothing, focused entirely on the close proximity of Iruka. He inhaled his scent discreetly, suppressing a groan of satisfaction at the scent of vanilla.

Iruka wiped the cloth over Kakashi's lips and chin, his own lips forming a pout. He forced himself not to stare at the pale flesh being revealed to him. As soon as he finished, he turned his head to the side, refusing to look at Kakashi's face in his vulnerability. "There. You might not want to put your mask on for a while. It's still wet with your blood."

Kakashi nodded, smirking faintly at the chuunin's respect. He raised a hand and tilted Iruka's face to his with a finger.

Iruka's eyes widened at Kakashi's face, the chocolate-brown orbs roving over the smooth flesh and handsome features with shock. "Master K–Kakashi—"

Kakashi placed a finger over Iruka's lips and his own curled into a smile. "Surprised?" He teased. "Were you expecting some type of _deformity_ or something?"

Iruka wordlessly shook his head, unable to take his stare off of the handsome face.

The Copy-Ninja fought a grin as he leaned forward, smashing their lips together. He threaded a hand in the brown hair, feeling around for the hair-tie that kept Iruka's hair in a perfect ponytail. His other hand slid down Iruka's back to pull him up onto the desk so he straddled his lap.

Iruka gasped at the close contact, eyes fluttering closed. He answered back with his own kisses slowly, resting his hands on Kakashi's shoulders for support. He uttered a muffled moan at the caressing hand at the small of his back. "Kakashi..."

The jounin smiled against the quivering lips and slid his hand downwards.

Iruka let out a squeak. "Master Kakashi! That is highly inappropriate!"

Kakashi leered and groped him. "'Master Kakashi' now? What happened to the 'Kakashi' that you said so _breathlessly_?"

Iruka blushed.

"So," Kakashi whispered in Iruka's ear, his hand dropping to the chuunin's lap, "how about we forget about that mission report I still owe you?"

Iruka gaped. "That's right! You haven't finished your mission report! I want you to do it now—_Ahh_! Ka–_Kakashi_!"

Kakashi grinned in triumph and went back to molesting his chuunin. A huskiness overtook his voice. "We'll talk about that... _later_..."

* * *


End file.
